Be honest. You're horny, and probably pretty lonely too.
Due to the prevailing global situation, there’s absolutely no way to go out and meet someone. Not like you had a flurry of women coming in when society was OPEN, but what are you supposed to do now?
Online dating? If you’re like most guys, your online dating ends up with an inbox quiet as a tomb. And when you do happen to score a match, the girl flakes, disappears, or is just unresponsive.
And if the girl does respond, you feel nothing.
As a result, you feel lonelier than when you started.
What are we as men supposed to do in this strange time to get even the faintest feeling of companionship?
First, give yourself a break. Not only has it been a strange year, it’s been a strange LIFE.
Second - don’t worry. The solution is closer than you think. In this article I'll show you how to connect with quality women and find love, regardless of what the situation is outside.
What Makes a Quality Woman For You?
I hear some of you already got your panties in a bunch over the phrase "quality woman."
Well you might want to close this article now, because it's gonna get rough, kids.
Here's what quality woman means for me:
- She's someone I find attractive and desirable.
- She stands out from the rest and I'd enjoy having in my life.
- When I see her, she fills my mind and senses with her whole being.
- She challenges me when I’m up and supports me when I’m down.
- She fights for her own.
- She’s creative, smart, driven, passionate, cute, and self-aware.
I could go on.
And you should too.
You should know exactly what sort of woman you want in your life. The more specific you get, the easier it will be to find exactly that woman and connect with her.
If you have no idea what makes a quality woman for you, then every woman will look the same to you. You might feel like that makes it easier to find a good match, but it’s not. It makes matching impossible.
Think about it. If a woman feels like she’s no different than anyone else to you, she’ll know you don’t really care for her as her own unique person. She’ll also know you’re desperate.
So. Get really specific. Your dream lady. What’s she like?
More than that - what would you WANT her to be like? Don’t hold back.
Take a moment and think about that.
First Step to Finding Love: Ditch The Online Dating
Here’s the thing. Once you *get* what I’m showing you here, you can attract women into your life through any medium necessary. Online OR offline.
Yet, I vehemently advocate against using online dating apps.
Hear me out.
If you’re stuck at home with nothing else to do, it’s easy to feel like online dating might be the logical cure for that overwhelming feeling of loneliness. But online dating is like comfort food. It helps to numb the pain, but rarely if ever actually cures the pain.
And like a bad addiction, it leaves you feeling worse.
Now, I know you CAN meet women online. And if you’re happy doing that, great. (But why then are you reading this article?)
I’ve met some amazing women on Tinder. I met one of the most important girls in my life on Okcupid. I’ve had some crazy sex adventures with the women I’ve met online. But for every positive result I’ve had online, I have thousands of non-starters.
At best, it’s a waste of time.
At worst, it’s absolute poison to your emotional wellbeing.
So in this article I will introduce ways you can find love that you can control. If they don't work, then you have my blessing to go back to online dating. (Spoiler alert: they work.)
7 Simple Ways to Find Love Effortlessly During a Pandemic
Alright, enough preamble. Here are 9 things you can do today to get amazing women flocking into your life.
Doing these things is like turning on an attraction beacon inside you. Women will start appearing in your life seemingly without any active effort from you.
I’ve arranged these in order of increasing restrictions.
While we can argue about the legitimacy and usefulness of social restrictions, I still want you and everyone else to be safe. Please approach all of these tips with respect to your local legislation, and to other people’s personal space.
1. Explore your local community
Sounds obvious, but we forget that the world still works. People shop for food, clothes, and medicine. People take their dogs out for a walk and sit on park benches. People still take part in hobbies.
So take part in a cooking class, dance class or just take a walk through your local neighborhood. Anything that’s slightly outside your comfort zone and your regular social circle will put you into the vicinity of beautiful women.
Say hello and compliment one stranger on their choice of mask.
2. Travel to a less restrictive part of the country/world.
I realize this is incredibly privileged of me, but if you can, move. Jump on a plane or train and just get to another city. Cities in Eastern Europe, South America or East Asia are full of women living their normal lives.
Travel restrictions are a thing, but carrying a valid covid-test certificate and avoiding strict borders will still get you to most places around the world.
Spend a weekend exploring a city in another country.
3. Approach women on Instagram.
While highly unlikely to work in other times, this is less of a taboo these days. People are moving off of Facebook and everyone knows Tinder is bullshit, so “DM me on IG” is becoming an accepted form of communicating with people.
Note that this is not a license to be rude, sexist, objectifying or anything else. Your goal when messaging a girl on Instagram is to deliver a greeting and a genuine compliment about her as a person AND MOVE ON. You are not entitled to a reply or a reaction.
In fact, expect to be ignored.
Direct message a girl and compliment her personality or interests.
Maybe she has read a book you like, maybe she works in an industry you enjoy, maybe her energy is just amazing. Your goal is to share your enjoyment of the world.
DO NOT compliment her looks at this stage. It’s way too easy to sound creepy or cringey.
DO NOT expect a reply.
4. Join online communities, play online games.
Notice how I’m advocating joining online communities where dating isn’t the primary goal. Genuinely connecting with people is not the issue. Platforms that commoditize people as dating resources - that’s what I suggest you avoid.
It’s important that you distance yourself from this idea of “dating” as a concept and start thinking more on the lines of “hanging out with amazing people.” After all, what is dating but hanging out with amazing people who you also want to get naked with?
If you enjoy hanging out with a girl, all the rest becomes much easier. Dating becomes less of a chore and more of something you just have fun with. And if you happen to be on the same Discord server, playing the same online games, you already have something in common.
Note: People are not expecting to be approached romantically on these platforms. That’s a good thing, because you have no competition. But it also requires plenty of situational awareness from you. Respect people’s boundaries and remember that your primary goal is to hang out and have a good time.
You MUST be adamantly aware of this and respect people’s boundaries.
How do you get sexual with someone you find online? Here’s a big secret. It’s not a switch you turn on and off. You must be in tune with your sexuality at all times. It’s more of a matter of inviting people into your world of sexuality, rather than turning it on and splurging it onto someone else.
When you get close with a girl whose energy you find intriguing, you can start with questions like “Are you single?” to get an idea of where they stand relationship wise. If the reply is open and positive, well. You’re on your way to introducing her into your world.
If she tells you to stop or says no, BACK OFF. You are not entitled to any responses or reactions. Neediness is incredibly unattractive, but being nonchalant and playfully flirty is really really hot.
Find a Discord server talking about stuff you find interesting. Say hello, introduce yourself and see if you find something in common. You may have to visit multiple servers before you find interesting people. That’s fine.
Again, do not expect a reply. No one owes you anything.
Respect people’s boundaries. Enjoy the process.
5. Learn a new skill
You know what turns women on? An interesting man. A man who knows how to do things and is passionate about something. A man who is confident in their skills and abilities.
Here you are, stuck at home with an endless amount of information available at your fingertips.
So start learning. Pick a skill and get really good at it. Make it a challenge. Here’s why this is the best use of your newfound free time:
- It’ll grow your self-esteem. If you feel like you’re nothing special and there’s nothing interesting about you, then it’s time to do something about that. Learning a new skill will help you not only become more interesting, but you’ll gain confidence in YOU. You’ll be less interested in wanting the girl’s approval, because your life is filled with all sorts of interesting things other than the girl.
- It’ll get you nearer to girls. Learning to cook, to dance, write, vlog will naturally move you toward communities that are wildly populated by smart and creative women. Not only that. A man that knows how to cook will never run out of date ideas. A man who knows how to dance will never run out of moves in the bedroom.
- It’ll get you moving. Learning necessarily requires you to take action. If you’re in a funk, frustrated or even depressed, taking action is the most important thing for you to do. It doesn’t even matter what action you take. As long as you’re not fucking wallowing in misery.
That one thing you've wanted to learn since forever - go do it. Join a course on Skillshare, Udemy, Coursera or Youtube. Start hacking at it for 10-20 minutes daily. ENJOY failing at this.
If you’re stuck at home, your health will suffer. Physically and mentally.
So get moving. I used to walk around for 2-3 hours daily and did a swimming outing a couple times a month. I’m not an athlete by any means, but I felt pretty fine overall. After the lockdown, I had a few months where I just didn’t exercise because my routine was broken and there was nowhere to go. Within a few months, my body felt like a fragile old man’s body.
It was a huge warning sign for me. Since then I’ve done a daily stint on a couple of exercise apps.
Even a 15 minute exercise daily does wonders for your overall condition. You’ll feel more alert, awake, focused, energized etc. More than that though, you’ll feel more balanced emotionally. The bullshit going on around the world won’t have such a drastic effect on you.
Your confidence in your abilities will grow.
And women will notice you more.
Download an exercise app and move for 15-30 minutes daily. If you're able to go outside, do it there.
7. Do Nothing.
Let’s be honest. Walking in parks and rummaging through online communities is fun, but at some point you will get tired of it. You’ll get frustrated because of too little (or too much) internet sex. At some point you’ll turn off the computer and you’ll be faced with your own self.
You're lying in bed at 3AM, eyes wide open, still wondering why you're alone.
This is when you gain access to the real powerhouse moves for attracting quality women into your life.
That's why number 7 is "Do nothing."
Yes, nothing, as in absolutely nothing. Not watching Youtube, not busywork, not shaving your balls. NOTHING.
“But it’s boring!”
Yes. It is. It’s boring as all hell. And your mind will come up with a million reasons to avoid sitting still.
See? Even now you’re thinking about how to avoid it.
Your mind is AMAZING at protecting you from boredom. Because that’s where the pain is. All your fears. Frustrations. Traumas. All your doubts and imperfections. Just waiting to pounce on you when you stop.
This is why most people keep themselves busy with distractions like Netflix, social media, fast food, cigarettes, watching news etc.
The big secret is - underneath all of that baggage, underneath all of the beliefs you’ve accumulated over the years … is your ATTRACTION SUPERPOWER. Accessing that superpower is the ultimate key to a life full of quality women.
If you're scoffing at how new agey this sounds, bear with me for just a moment.
If you're spending your days avoiding what you are and what's hidden within you, you're indirectly judging yourself. You feel like the pain you carry within you is unacceptable, either because it hurts or it's just embarrassing (which means it hurts).
What if you were to do the opposite?
What if you were to make a conscious effort to open yourself up to all the fears and pain and feelings of boredom and then just accept it?
This will break you down and force you to rebuild. This is the hardest exercise you’ll ever do. In fact, only the most badass of you will ever do this and make it a daily habit. The rare few of you who do will become capable of effortless attraction.
Truth is, when you’ve been to the bottom and faced the terror that lurks within you, you won’t give a shit about society’s judgements about you.You’ll start working towards your goals because you no longer give a fuck. Procrastination and fear of rejection fade away as distant memories.
Jealousy and judgment no longer dominate your life.
You’ll feel plenty of acceptance and empathy towards not just yourself, but others as well. Because you love your own flaws and imperfections, you give more space to other people’s flaws and imperfections too.
Women especially find this irresistible, and will feel a deep attraction towards you.
They will SENSE your acceptance from a mile away. For once in their gorram life they will have a place to just relax and be themselves. You’ll notice amazing women just appearing in your life, seemingly out of nowhere, irresistibly attracted to you.
Make “doing nothing” a daily habit and you’ll emerge from the lockdown a fucking superhero.
Now it's your turn. Which one of these methods did you try? Did you do them all?
Or did you give up and go back to the safety and comfort of the online dating platform?